I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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