Can i not drive my cunt home
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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