He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
