wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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