Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
