i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
