Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
