Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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