Pants 0. Shit 1.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
