Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
