Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
