Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
