you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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