I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
