Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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