What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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