shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
