walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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