Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize