Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
