So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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