She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
