Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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