I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
ok first of all what the fuck
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
