i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
