Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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