Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
