I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've blown a few things in my day
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize