girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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