Already got asked if we're dating
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
