So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize