Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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