I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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