his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
