i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
