He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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