...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
