I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
