Got a toothbrush?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
