STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
