the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
