Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
