Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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