He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
