The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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