i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
