dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love having hate sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
