PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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