It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
