She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
