so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
