we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
