i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
