is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
