I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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