I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
