put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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