she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
